when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
