she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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