yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
