Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
