so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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