I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
