She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
