i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
