Midget sex pt 2 tonight
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize
