I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
