I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
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Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
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This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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