The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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