wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Fuck me I smell like cheese
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
