If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You need Xanax blowdarts
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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