Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.

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  (313): Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing. http://tfl.nu/gu31
  Replies (2) Good night (1079) Bad night (728)
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  (+44): View more from England

  if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed

  (+44): View more from England

  keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction

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  (+44): if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed (+44): keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction http://tfl.nu/lbnu
  Replies (18) Good night (4611) Bad night (588)
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  (914): View more from New York

  so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling

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  (914): so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling http://tfl.nu/v4vu
  Replies (38) Good night (4669) Bad night (836)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can

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  (401): well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can http://tfl.nu/8xnn
  Replies (18) Good night (2985) Bad night (1940)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.

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  (859): I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat. http://tfl.nu/m2ko
  Replies (9) Good night (5219) Bad night (1069)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme

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  (781): the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme http://tfl.nu/i0u7
  Replies (9) Good night (5070) Bad night (900)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class

  (1-914): View more from New York

  that is WHY your in summer classes

  (914): View more from New York

  worth it

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  (914): Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class (1-914): that is WHY your in summer classes (914): worth it http://tfl.nu/1hzd
  Replies (10) Good night (3923) Bad night (879)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.

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  (570): If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene. http://tfl.nu/rk7g
  Replies (2) Good night (492) Bad night (1234)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever

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  (775): she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever http://tfl.nu/gkhb
  Replies (11) Good night (608) Bad night (3029)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?

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  (715): I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME? http://tfl.nu/q3mm
  Replies (12) Good night (2183) Bad night (662)
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  (805): View more from California

  If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that

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  (805): If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that http://tfl.nu/xc7d
  Replies (7) Good night (575) Bad night (1260)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.

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  (907): I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer. http://tfl.nu/7eiw
  Replies (8) Good night (1238) Bad night (524)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on

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  (360): first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on http://tfl.nu/2woc
  Replies (6) Good night (817) Bad night (363)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING

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  (205): That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor. (1-205): WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING http://tfl.nu/uvee
  Replies (3) Good night (488) Bad night (235)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?

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  (519): Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot? http://tfl.nu/ltik
  Replies (3) Good night (389) Bad night (310)

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