physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
