I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
