I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
