? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
