i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
