I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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