you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
