Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
