I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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