My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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