McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
50% drunk capacity currently
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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