I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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