oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Randomize
