ugly people sure do ruin things
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
how does that bad decision feel?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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