it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
