I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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