This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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