Did you just see the Batmobile???
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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