I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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