We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
