i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
