Well apparently he's into motor boating.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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