Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
so that wasnt chicken after all
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
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The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
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Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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