ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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