i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
