Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
