I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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