I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
