and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She bit a glass in half.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
