is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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