How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
