Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
