I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
there was a trapeze. enough said
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
