Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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