well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
