Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
the day after is always just damage control
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize