I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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