someone threw a dead crab at me
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
