She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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