She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
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