I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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