i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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