Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize