i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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