we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
did you just send me my own nude
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Randomize
