There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
