playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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