put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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