I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Princesses don't give blow jobs
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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