can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
This house was built for laser tag.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
