addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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